Pigtails

I giggled while I did this...

...something about playing dress up with my own live little baby doll.

I've been secretly planning ways to do it. And today I shamelessly trapped her in the high chair with a Baby Einstein video. All that stuff on her tray? Toys and snacks.

WhaHaHaha.

She was not impressed:
And kept looking around me and the camera to actually watch the bribery video.

But I feel like I've joined the "mommies who at least attempt to do their little girls' hair" club.

Which is a big deal, if you're a mommy.

Not so much if you're the little girl, apparently.

Adi

One Little Thing

After a hand-cramping catch-up journal entry (that took more than an hour and is barely legible) I decided there had to be another way of:

• documenting life
• recording things I want to remember
• keeping notes of moments that mean something to me
• not being completely intimidated by keeping a journal

And all my blog strolling paid off. Because a bunch of ideas I saw somewhere in blogdom slammed together in my head and became this one little thing, which I decided was safe to get excited about and have a late-craft-night hangover from.

It's my "one little thing" can. I saw the idea for re-using formula cans here, and the idea for writing little love notes for and about your children everywhere.

I want to fill this one with notes about my sweet Adi. She does things all the time that I adore. And I don't want to wind up ten years from now, looking back on this time in her life and remember there were so many "things" I loved about it, but not remember what they were.

Plus, Brent and I have this agreement that when I'm old and losing my mind, he'll come read my journals and little notes to me.

So now, instead of blocking out entire weekends of my life to record and catch up on every tiny detail, I can just write down one little thing, and plop it in the can.

Who said formula cans, scrapbook paper and modge podge couldn't save the world?

Seasons Change

The weather outside is frightful. Well, it really must be if they're writing songs about it, right? The people in my house have a totally different opinion however. This is how Hudson felt about it:Nobody will ever be able to convince me he isn't smiling from ear to ear. Pretty sure this very snowy day last week is the highlight of the winter for him. He even found it in his heart to explore with Adi. We've reached a new level, my friends. I don't love the cold, but if it brings Adi and Hudsy to some kind of an agreement, I hope the snow stays forever. I'm pretty sure he's the one that taught Adi this little trick:She was thrilled that the stuff was also edible. Really what more can a girl ask for than fun that requires new clothes, is soft and comfy if you "crash" (as adi would say) and doubles as a tasty little snack? It might just be heaven. And, most of her favorite people showed up just to see her stinking cute snow clothes (thank you Kohls bottomless discounts) and to watch her giggle as the stuff just kept falling from the sky. As my dad watched her playing, he turned to me and said, "This is what it's all about, all the other stuff really doesn't matter..." He's so right. I love it when he comes out with those perspective-refreshing one liners. And that's the reason for this post. Because that, combine with these next two pictures totally confirmed a thought I had during a mind-clearing walk the other day -

Seasons change. There's a time for everything. I love these pictures for lots reasons, but here's why they struck me:

1-My sweet Adi, of course. The little bundle of joy that has brought a new season to my life. AND

2-The leaves. Those fall leaves are still hanging on. They're pretty now. They were beautiful in the fall--in their season.

It helped bring a lot of things together for me. My life before Adi, when I was involved so much in what I was doing, in what I wanted and felt I needed to do was beautiful then. It was the season for that. Those things are okay now, but they're losing they're luster. Frankly they're out of season; it's time to make a few changes.

Because someday, really not too far away, the leaves will change and the snow will fall onto that very sidewalk, and my Adi will not be toddling down it in her tiny snow clothes. She'll be in a path all her own. Now is my season to enjoy this little sweety...and to giggle while the snowflakes keep falling.

Little Scarecrow

No one tells you that Halloween is a joke if your child is under the age of 4...Whoa. Adi had sloppy nose paint, no hat and crazy crazy crazy scarecrow hair. She was pretty ticked until she realized is was all for a trip to see the grandmas.

Whoa....Tired

So, just like I never paid full attention to a mom when she was ranting about colic (which I have since learned is NOT fun) I also never really sympathized over teething or colds.

DUMB

I totally should have listened. This little girly has got both, probably caused by eachother, but holy cow! Last night marks the third, THIRD night of up every hour. Yep, you heard me, every 60 minutes. Which adds up to about...oh...not much sleep. Poor little thing just cries and coughs and chews on her fingers. She's usually pretty stuffy too which makes it hard to drink a bottle. So out comes her nemisis, the suction bulb. So then not only is she feeling awful, she's also angry. It hasn't been fun.

Hopefully these little joys pass soon. We're all getting a little tired.

For Grandma & Grandpa Hess

This little video is for Grandma & Grandpa Hess. It took me a sec to get the camera situated, every time she sees it she's mesmerized by it and she stops talking. I finally got it situated so she didn't know it was there and would talk to me. Love you guys!

Smarty Pants

She's got us completely figured out. It's ridiculous really. The girl's SCREAMS (I'm talking SCREAMS)come to a screeching hault when we pick her up. It's so funny. She knows exactly how she wants to be held, fed, rocked, etc. She can somehow miraculously tell the difference between her bed and any other soft surface in the house and she really prefers not to be in any kind of a wet/messy diaper for more than about 4 seconds. Her new thing is to gag if she's done eating and you try to even put the bottle in her mouth. If she's not ready to be burped and you try...yikes. She loves to bath, and she knows when we're getting her ready for it. She loves being naked and doesn't mind having clothes on but hates being dressed/undressed. She smiles at everything and copies our facial expressions and tries to mimic our sounds. She'd rather not fall asleep--the crying is the worst right before she goes out. AND, she knows she wants ME to hold her. Not really anyone else. She's fine if I'm not in the room when someone else has her, but if she sees or hears me, she turns on the waterworks (fake, by the way, because there really isn't any water involved at all). I secretly love it. The other day Brent had her and he brought her into the bedroom where he was letting me nap (he's perfect, I tell you) and when I started to talk to her she REACHED for me. It seriously made my whole day. I love that little girl.

This is her little Old Navy dress I couldn't wait to put her in and it finally fits. She's just hanging out on the couch. Pretty cute, huh?

Don't mess with naptime.

I don't know when they started this little trend, but the elementary school kids stroll around the block around 8:30 each morning. Seriously? How many more time-wasters can they think of? P.E., Recess and a morning walk. Hmm.

I really don't think I would care THAT much, but 8:30 happens to be when little miss Adilyn lays back down for a morning nap, since she wakes up at 5 a.m. smiling and giggling. And the kids are loud---LOUD. I understand a little chit chat, a little laughing, whatever. But the screaming, the singing at the top of their lungs--for real? Save it for music time.

PLUS Hudson likes to sit on the ottoman and stare out the window. And since everything else in his little life has changed, I'm not going to take away his one last sense of normalcy by closing the curtains so the kids won't harrass him.

All of this results in a screaming baby, a barking dog and a CRAZY me.

Don't they know naptime is sacred? Especially when the poor thing is learning to fall asleep on her own, and waking up means at least 20 more minutes of screaming and coaxing. Seriously. Plus, Adi-less moments are rare and jam packed with a two minute shower, lighting-fast computer work and anything else that requires two hands.

Walk in the gym, walk around the football field, don't walk at ALL--read a book or something, but don't drag the kids past my house at 8:30 a.m. She's napping =)

3 Months

My child is going to hate me by the time she can actually say "cheese". This is how I know:Yeah, she was not impressed with our efforts to document her three month mark. That one was actually taken toward the end of the session, so I can't blame her. We did get some cute ones, though. Here are some of my favorites: I'll get a bunch fixed up and make a slideshow or something.

I'm telling you, I have a new-found sympathy for moms who bring their babies to photo sessions. I have the studio in my stinking house for crying out loud and I still had to schedule her entire day around pictures. She had two baths--one to get ready, and one to calm her down once we got done. I hate to admit it, but I did take 4 outfits downstairs because I couldn't decide which one to put her in. Her schedule was completely messed up. She had half a nap, half a bottle and went to bed early. Yikes. I think I'll hug every mom that comes from now on!

Adi is so fun right now! I love this age. She smiles and coos and interacts so much more. She'll copy us when we stick our tongues out at her, and she's trying so hard to figure out how we blow raspberries. When I tell her stories or sing songs she'll copy my eye expressions and sometimes make a sing songy sound in the same pitch as my voice. I can't believe how smart babies are and how fast they learn. It really is amazing. Her newest favorite thing is when we hold her up in the bathtub and let her float. She LOVES it. Those chubby little legs can kick! She's so fun. I'm so thankful we get to experience this. We love her so much!

Ordinary Miracles

When I look at Adilyn I'm amazed to think she's here, healthy and strong and ours forever. We prayed and cried and hoped she'd come someday. We worried and hoped and prayed through the pregnancy, and did the same while she was in the hospital. We celebrated every one of her victories--staying alive her first couple of days, breathing well with machines, breathing only room air, staying warm on her own, learning to eat on her own; gaining a handful of ounces and even filling diapers. I cried when she'd have a bad day or fell back a little. I was amazed as I watched her adjust to life--starting to make sounds, recognizing our voices, opening her eyes, and even seeing her little eyelashes and toenails grow in.

Now she's twelve weeks old and doing so well--just like a normal baby--an ordinary baby...and it got me thinking how wonderful ordinary miracles really are. This week she learned to copy our gestures, follow us with her eyes, and she figured out exactly how she likes to be held -- it's opposite of how we hold her when she falls asleep :)I just marvel at her. She is just a miracle. I am so thankful that I have been given this blessing in my life.

Adi's middle name is Grace, and it's because everything about her has happened through the grace of our Heavenly Father. I want her to always know that. I felt it so strong when we were in the hospital especially. I know He was there with us and with her, and that He was so aware of us. We felt so much comfort through the entire thing, especially the hardest moments. I know it was because of Him. Even our little Hudson handled things better than we expected. I learned so much about faith and patience and love just from waiting for Adi, and only beginning the adoption process, then following sweet promptings that led us to finally getting her here, at just the right time to keep us both safe.

Something else happened today that reaffirmed my faith in His involvement in our lives. Four weeks before Adi was born, Brent's hours at work were cut in half because of some ISU budget cuts. So the last little while has been interesting financially. And hard. I knew there had to be a purpose for it, though, and that it didn't just happen by chance--especially because of the timing--when we finally had Adi, and when the bills and expenses were going to be astronomical. Brent and I have discussed it a lot. We haven't understood it, we've just felt like it would be okay (not having any idea HOW)and that it would eventually make sense.

Since then we've had more blessings than I can list. I had a couple of weddings scheduled for August--seemingly bad timing. Brent & Brian even shot one of them because it was the weekend I had Adi. But the extra money actually couldn't have come at a better time. We had help from family with food, gas and lodging while we were in Logan. I've had people who have owed me money forever calling and asking if they could pay me. I've had overdue invoices I was able to collect. I prayed and prayed that I would be able to start pictures again when I could handle it because I knew the money would help, but I refuse to put work before Adi. I'd rather eat ramen and park the car for six months. Slowly I've felt ready to work again, and the work has come, with little or no advertising on my part, and Brent's been home to watch Adi when I've been working. He's also been able to find extra work in the most random circumstances.

Last week our bill was significantly reduced through assistance through the hospital--because of Brent's hour cutback. This morning we found out he gets to go full time again. I paid my tithing yesterday, and we've been paying it all along. You can't convince me it's a coincidence. None of this is. We've been able to spend most of two extra days a week together--the three of us, during Adi's first few months, we've learned a lot about a lot of things and we've grown.

It all may sound like no big deal, like just ordinary coincidences, but we know we've been blessed with miracles.

Frightfully Cute!

Afternoon Showing

I usually only see this sweet smile at 5 in the morning or right after a feeding or nap during Adi's 15-20 minutes of play time.

THEN I found this little number someone had given us as part of a gift.


Apparently the poor little thing hasn't been coming out with those more often because she's had some colic. These are homeopathic and completely natural, so I figured they were worth a shot. Okay, they are ABSOLUTELY worth it. After a few of these Adi smiled and kicked and played at 4 in the afternoon like it was 5 in the morning and she'd just woken up from a long nap!

Hooray for colic tablets.

YOU'RE the mom...

In our attempt to keep this sweet little person alive and happy, Brent and I ask each other questions about Adi ALL the time,especially when she's crying (as if one of us knows the answer). Most often it starts with, "Do you think she's..."

Yeah, and for a while we both would throw an idea out there in an attempt to sound like we knew what we were doing--like, "Maybe her tummy hurts, maybe she's cold, maybe she thinks is 3 p.m., not 3 a.m., maybe she wants her binky, maybe she doesn't want her binky, maybe she wants the other binky" --you get the idea. The suggestions were endless.

One morning (EARLY), Brent was rocking her and asked me some "Do you think she's..." question. I turned around and stated what we both knew was obvious. "I really don't know, dear!" Then I asked the million dollar question, "Why do you keep asking me all this stuff that I don't know the answer to?"

And he replied with the statement I've been mulling over ever since. "Because you're the mom, you're supposed to know this stuff."

(I'll pause while you picture the horror that spread across my face).

Now, I realize that this wasn't an entirely original idea. When you're five and play with dolls, you act like the mom and naturally take care of the baby as if you know when it's time for it to eat, sleep, etc. because you're the "mom" and you know everything. The DOLL isn't alive and screaming however.

Even when you decide to try to have kids It's usually money, timing, etc. that dominate the conversation--as if knowing what to do with the thing isn't even an issue.

(As I'm writing this, suddenly the bossy overhelpful NICU nurses don't seem so annoying.)

Anyway...

I picked Adi up out of her crib this morning after a failed attempt to let her fall asleep on her own ended in tears--hysterics really. As soon as I wrapped my arms around her the waterworks ceased. We sat in the chair, and as I held her and talked, her sweet little blue eyes stared right into mine. Her little body relaxed and she calmed down completely.

And then it hit me - in a totally different way. I'm IT for this girl, at least for now. I'm the one that makes everything better, I'm the one that can do no wrong. I'm the one with encouraging words, sweet lullabyes and healing hugs. (I'm not oblivious to the fact that she also knows I'll feed her). In her little life I'll be the example of what a mom, a woman, and a friend should be. It's daunting.

I'm just so grateful I have the mom I do. Sometimes I get on her case for not having all the answers and not giving the advice I want to hear. It's really ridiculous because she always knows what I acutally need, usually before I do. And most of the time it's just for her to wrap her arms around me and talk to me. When I was young, I thought my mom's whole purpose was to be my mom. That's really how she made me feel.

I just hope I can be that for Adi and someday feel like I'm on my way to being the kind of mom my mom has been for me when Brent looks at me and says, "You're the mom."

And the winner is...

Seriously, there are a few things you can't live without when you have a newborn. If I were in charge of the Nobel Peace Prize, the inventors of these things would win hands down and here's why:

Infant Tylenol: Adi had shots today--enough said.

The Boppy Pillow: I'm pretty sure the three of us have ALL had a turn sleeping on this thing. At two in morning it keeps your head from the sunday-school-bob. It saves your arms and hands from total pain and numbness while bottle feeding. AND I can surf the net or update my blog while nursing Adi at 3 a.m. Pretty handy.

Soothie Binkies: Not cute--don't care. It's the perfect shape, she doesn't choke or gag on it, and it's big enough for her to latch on to. There's even a handy dandy handle thingy on the outside that I always end up sticking in my mouth when my hands are full. Plus they smell like vanilla.

The Baby Wrap: This one's from Wrap n' Wear. They look kind of silly, but they hypnotize your baby, I swear. Adi ended up with a cold a couple weeks ago and REALLY wanted to be held. As soon as I'd put her in it she'd fall (and stay) asleep. Plus I could get stuff done. I'm thinking I'll realize it's true value when I have more kids.

The Hammock Tub: The thing has saved our lives. Adi loves her bath. It's the one fail-proof procedure we have for calming her down. This tub has a hammock thingy she can just lay and relax in. Sometimes she even sleeps through her bath. No more slippery-baby juggling.

Quick-Steam Bags: Saves me from boiling bottles, binkies and pump parts. I LOVE these.

Lansinoh Lanolin: Sweet relief my friends, sweet relief.

Pampers Diapers: I'm thinking these embody the difference between boxers and briefs. They're thinner, smaller, and stay closer to the body. They actually fit. The fancy yellow stripe turns blue when it's time for a change. Genius.

Carter's Burp Cloths: They're cute and I love the material. They totally coordinate with the carter's clothes, too. Darling!

Baby Mine Receiving Blankets: Perfect for swaddling. I love them as an around-the-house blanket. Not too warm. Just right. You can't have enough!

So there. I love this stuff. I'm sure I'll think of more. But I love these. Thank you smart people of the world for making my life as a new mom easier! If you have favorites, please comment and let me know!

Around The Clock...

I knew I'd be writing this eventually, dang it. Pretty sure the thought came to me around 10 a.m. right after I'd woken up (yes, for the first time that day) sometime in July. Or it could have been right after the nap that began at 1 p.m. Ridiculous, but sleeping through pregnancy is actually a pretty good way to deal when nothing fits, you're swollen like the Michelin Man, are steaming hot and have zero motivation...for anything. Plus, let's be realistic--even if you're not doing anything while you're pregnant, you're clearly super-human; growing a baby is hard work. Anyway, as I was waking up I was telling myself to enjoy being in charge of my own life while it lasted--sleeping in and naps included. You know your entire life is about to change because you've seen it happen to other people, but you can't quite imagine it happening to you. Heck you couldn't even imagine morning sickness, big bellies or heartburn (all of which absolutely occur). Fast forward to August 7th. That's the day my life began to revolve around 1, 4, 7 and 10. That's when we would visit the NICU to help take care of Miss Adilyn. Every three hours, around the clock. No matter what. Change her diaper, take her temperature and help feed her--or at least hold her. BUT, we loved it. We got to interact with our little tiny, hold her and talk about how sweet she was, what a miracle she was and how we loved her SO much. Then we'd put her back in her isolette and go back upstairs to our hospital room where we hotel stayed for those three weeks. So, as the days went on we eventually missed one once in a while--mostly the middle-of-the-night feedings. Soon our exhaustion and the excellent nurses convinced us she was in perfectly capable hands--professional babysitters pretty much, and let's not forget, we were paying for them. There we were again sleeping through the night, and being COMPLETELY delusional about what exhaustion actually was. The morning the doctor called and told us we could take her home I was in the shower when it hit me--the restfull nights were over and I was about to become entirely responsible for this little girl. The first night was ridiculous. We were ALL up all night, even Hudson (although he has since found some way to block Adi's crying out completely--will wake from a dead sleep if I open a wrapper in case it's a treat--but doesn't even register baby screams). We've all adjusted since then, thankfully and the crazy thing about it is that I wouldn't trade the 3 a.m. visits for anything--not even for a full night's rest, or for the jurisdiction of my own schedule. I really can't imagine life without Adi. Not that the sleep won't be welcomed when she eventually sleeps through the night, just that I'm completely smitten by this little piece of heaven I get to hang out with around the clock.

Labor Pains...

Yesterday was Adi's official due date. My mom called early in the morning to ask if I was having labor pains. Ha ha, very funny. When I look at this little 7 week old girl, though, I have to say I am having some growing pains--it's exciting to see her grow and change but it's hard to see it happening so fast, knowing it won't slow down. I can't believe how she's constantly changing. I really try to soak it all up and take it all in - every minute. I know someday this will all seem like a dream and I want to know I cherished all of it.

Adi's First Few Days

Stinkin' Cute

So, I used to cringe and roll my eyes when a mom walked in for a photo session with 15 outfits and ginormous headbands for a tiny newborn. Seriously, the baby looks the same no matter what you put her in. Kay, so I was wrong. I swore I'd never actually USE the headbands with flowers and bling. Being a mom does make you partial, though and so of course I think they're adorable on her. AND, I do love to dress her up. Poor thing sometimes wears two or three outfits a day. I feel justified though--her premies already don't fit. Good thing we changed so much--HA. Brent's mom asked me in the NICU if I liked playing with dolls, because I'd be doing that for a while since she was so tiny. I'm actually eating it up. Cute little girl. I really do just adore her.